John Douglas Eccles

17/02/201317/02/2016

A Perfect Valentines Day Northern Style

Valentine's Day

A friend of mine decided to make valentines day something special this year. After years of a house full of Kids, dogs, assorted friends and acquaintances he decided that this year was going to be different.

With the kids away at university he had decided it was time for some well deserved time together with his wife to try and capture some of the magic of when they first met, he decided to arrange as the americans call it a date night.

So he arrived home from work, armed with a bunch of roses and a reservation for a very nice restaurant. Now like most women married to Northern blokes this came as quite a shock, but took it in her stride and spent the next two hours getting ready for a romantic evening which she had thought was beyond her husbands limited romantic experience.

What she didn’t know was that he had enlisted the help of her sister and his daughters to find out what would be the ideal evening out and duly carried out to the letter the list which had been carefully constructed for him.

He had a limo booked for seven to take them to the restaurant were upon arrival they had champagne cocktails waiting before being taken to the table in the corner were thirty years earlier he had asked her to marry him.

The meal was incredible, the wine flowed and all was going great. At the end of the meal the limo picked them up and took them to the Cinema were he had booked a private box for a showing of Les Misérables. Throughout the film they made use of the waiter service extensively.

All was going really well and after the film the limo came to pick them home which up to this point had been the perfect evening. He had carried out the list to the letter and his wife told him this was the best valentines day she had ever had.

By now it was well passed midnight and he decided that he would try to finish the night off with a suggestion of reliving another romantic episode from their past. He suggested that they could take advantage of the fact that they had the house to themselves so what about making love in front of the fire like they used to in the years before the kids arrived and made it difficult to be so adventurous.

So with a glint in his wife’s eye he was amazed that she actually thought it was a great idea. He could not believe his luck and whilst she was getting the cushions ready he had a thought that after all the beer and wine he needed the bathroom.

He made his excuses and said he wouldn’t be long and his wife proceeded to make herself more comfortable making herself naked in front of the fire!

What happened next he cannot understand but after his visit to the bathroom he then inexplicably got in bed and went to sleep, only to be woken twenty minutes later by a naked furious wife throwing her clothes at him, before she left to sleep in the back bedroom.

Its now been a week since that night out and they are still not speaking, which goes to show men are rubbish at romance when left to there own devices!

02/01/201319/02/2013

How Do You Get Taken Off Santa’s Naughty List?

This is the first posting of the new year so I suppose I had better start as I mean to go on. I always think that New Year is a time to stop looking back at the past and look forward to what is possible. Looking back should be done in that blurry time between Christmas and New Year.

Looking at what I want to achieve in the New year begins once the hangover starts to wane on new years day.

Now this will come as a shock to people who know me I know but I do try to set out some simple goals to strive for but the more the years go by and the faster the pace of change happens the harder it is to try to set yourself a target.

Now looking back can be a dangerous activity. Just how many of us think now and again ‘if I could change that decision I made’. I call these ‘What If’ moments.

The problem with these moments is that you cannot change them (unless someone has invented time travel over the Christmas period) and they can drive a grown person to distraction. These moments colour you decision making and can sap your confidence.

Just remember back to when you were a teenager, anything was possible, the world seemed to be a huge playground with all sorts of activities you wouldn’t even give a second thought about before trying out. Although drinking five pints of Bitter, half a bottle of Port some Southern Comfort when I was eighteen has left a deep scar, if I even catch the smell of Southern Comfort at twenty paces it still induces me retch uncontrollably.

So over the years we gain experience that tells you that not everything is possible and we can overcompensate. This is not to say that you shouldn’t learn from your experiences however your experiences shouldn’t limit what you think is possible.

I cannot say I wasn’t disappointed when I looked out on Christmas morning and discovered that my new f type Jaguar was not sat outside my front door (Santa must still have me on his naughty list).

Now I could be bitter, but no, I think that anything in life is possible and given the right circumstances and a fair amount of luck you never know what can happen.

So this year I just need to take advantage of the opportunities that are offered to me, work hard and make enough money so that I could in a moment of temporary insanity actually buy one.

So all that remains for me to say is that I hope you all have a great 2013 and just maybe if you see someone in a White F Type Jaguar it could be me who has finally been taken off Santa’s naughty list, alternatively been paid what I think I am worth or I have won the Lottery.

So all thats left for me to say is dare to dream and you never know it could happen in the new year!

20/12/201219/02/2013

Taking Stock at the End of the Year

I don’t know about you but last time I blinked it was Easter and now I have just returned from my grand daughters school nativity and I am looking at the impending Christmas celebrations in a state of shell shock.

As another year grows to a close if you are like me you will mentally taking stock of what has happened through the past year and how you have faired in the grand scheme of things.

So how do you judge how well or otherwise you have done. I suppose its all down to your own personal experience. Now I am a fairly positive individual, I am in the cup half full brigade opposed to the keeping up with the neighbors gang so my outlook is obviously coloured by this.

Now at my age the first thing on the list in your health, without it your life becomes instantly more complicated, and your time is consumed by waiting in crowded hospitals with people who could infect you with the black death at any given moment. This time last year I was recovering from what everyone thought was a heart attack. It wasn’t and I am still here and even more of a bonus I now know I have a perfectly healthy heart so I can now eat butter again for the first time in a decade.

So the next thing on the list is my Family. My long suffering wife who has had serious health problems in the past appears to be recovering. I know this because she is showing signs that her lust for life has returned and has made this year very special, its as though I have the woman I first met back in my life and that is priceless.

During the past twelve months my offspring have both found partners who will put up with them and there foibles and who are blissfully happy. I know this because the phone has stopped ringing quite as often. The only drawback to this scenario is that the number for Christmas dinner has doubled and the presents under the tree mean I cannot see the television without sitting up straight in my chair.

Unfortuately this year saw the passing of my cousin Jennifer who passed away a few weeks ago and my thoughts are with her family at this time, I find myself feeling a little guilty because I should have taken the time to keep in touch whilst I had the chance.

Friends are the next on my list, this year has been an exceptional year, I am lucky to have friends who always know when to turn up just when you need dusting off and leave when they think you can stand on your own two feet again. More importantly I haven’t lost any or been to a funeral which is always a bonus. It appears that living through the sixties and seventies was very detrimental to your health and longevety.

The last thing on my list is my job. I am one of the lucky ones in life, I love what I do, I suppose my wife is right when she says I haven’t done a days work in my life, and I hate to admit it but I think she is right. The great thing about my job is the people I meet and try to help deliver various projects. From students who are at the start of there chosen career through to business men who need a hand in trying to understand the brave new digital world in which they have to exist.

The most rewarding part of my role is helping community groups who are trying to improve were they live with very little in the way of resources, these people are the true heroes of modern society, people who share the little they have to help the communities they live in.

So back to my opening premiss, How do you judge how well are you doing? It’s very simple, as long as you can cover your bills, have your health and are surrounded by people who love and care for you, you are better off that at least half the planet.

According to my wife, if you add someone to do the ironing, copious amounts of Mince Pies and Horlicks into the mix life doesn’ t get any better. So all that remains for me to say is I hope that you and your families have a merry Christmas and a healthy and prosperous New Year.

29/11/201226/03/2013

Sometimes You Meet Some Truly Inspiring People in the Most Unlikely Places

I have been working out in the community for the past week or so with a group of women that have decided to make a difference in the community they live in. Working with these women has restored my faith in the human race.

Three years ago they asked a very simple question “what can we do that would benefit the kids on the estate”. So they set about finding the answer to a question that has stumped many a regeneration expert for donkeys years.

They took the unprecedented step of asking them, which is a novel approach I know. So they made arrangements with the Headmaster of the local school and canvased every child in the school (even if they didn’t live on the estate).

The answer that came back was surprising. The kids didn’t want 50 inch plasmas or Games consoles, what they wanted mostly was “a nice place to live, with trees and flowers and stuff”.

So three years ago armed with £350 and a lot of hard work and the children from the school these women transformed a dark and dismal corner in the school grounds into a community garden that the children have looked after and taken great pride in ever since.

Since that project they have been responsible for planning and delivering a large scale development project that would scare the living daylights out of many a seasoned project manager.

They with the help from various agencies they have planted an orchard, a wild flower meadow and are about to put planters on the grass verges around the estate. Now I know many people out there will be saying well thats ok but the kids will just destroy them in no time, but somehow I don’t think so, the kids have invested to much time and effort in helping out.

Kids are at the centre of this project, they have helped plant more that 500 bulbs around the estate and have watched eagerly as the trees have been planted. These women have worked tirelessly with great humor and what’s more they don’t realise exactly what they have achieved.

They have done what most large organisations cannot do and that is mobilise and empower young people to make a difference and take pride in were they live and all that with a modesty that is amazing.

So ladies next time someone has a go at people for not wanting to get involved because it won’t change a thing, You have changed a very big thing, you have almost moved a mountain and you don’t realise it. I have been exhausted just watching you. I take my hat off to you, your community don’t know how fortunate they are!

11/11/201226/03/2013

We Will Remember Them

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Remembrance Sunday always leaves me feeling very proud and very angry in equal measure. Watching the coverage on the BBC was fantastic. David Dimbleby set the tone with a masterclass in how to give a dignified commentary without becoming sentimental.

Its this expertise that makes the BBC a world leader in live television coverage. Great production values along with intelligent commentary make this event heart breaking and makes you remember the true cost of sacrifice.

But the real tragedy of this event is that many of the soldiers who paid the ultimate price, most are inbetween the ages of Eighteen and Twenty One, a criminal waste of a young life, cut down at the start of their lives, so much promise snuffed out in a second, a cruel waste of potential.

I was next to tears watching parents of one particular soldier fighting back the tears as they described with great pride their one and only son. How can you get over something so tragic, it must be a nightmare.

Many of the people in the parade are now elderly and wear the medals with great pride, and quite rightly so. My only hope is that we never get the opportunity to forget these individuals and spare a thought for friends and families who will miss them being in there lives everyday.

So one final thought on this day of reflection, someone said to me once that you should never look back, because you can’t change the past. I would like to add to that, it is only by looking at our past mistakes we learn and progress.

It should be a fairly simple exercise to try and prevent the huge loss of life that any conflict brings. I appreciate that negotiation is not always possible but surely it should be the starting point and not the final destination after thousands of people have died.

03/11/201226/03/2013

Chicken Soup can Seriously Damage Your Wealth

It was Half Term in our part of the world last week and every parent dreads this one, especially because the weather is often so bad that the little darlings are house bound for the biggest part of the week. By midweek they are suffering from cabin fever and are bored of anything that is suggested.

Now normally that has little effect on our house because our kids flew the coop several years ago leaving me to enjoy the break. I celebrate Half Terms because it gives me chance to recharge the batteries after being mauled for six weeks of teaching pubescent teenagers full of raging hormones who look for ways to mentally challenge you to the point of meltdown. Its not this behavior thats the issue its the mental anguish brought on by having to appear like a swan, calm in the face of adversity but paddling ferociously under the surface just so you don’t lose face.

You can imagine how delighted I was when it was suggested that the grandkids should stay with us whilst there house is being fitted with a new kitchen and bathroom. They arrived on Tuesday with a mass of phones, IPods and Hair Straighteners, apparently essentials that the average 10 year old see’s as survival gear.

Its not the fact that they hounded me for my broadband Key and tripled my data usage, or the fact that at any given moment in the day I was having to watch them dance around the lounge dancing to Nicki Minaj’s latest video (that looked like a promo for a leather fetishist club). It was the fact that they decided that my iMac was a far better proposition for watching Videos with subtitles so they could sing along, leaving me with my iPhone for company.To be honest they haven’t been that bad really, they are like any other kids trying to understand the world we live in and put there own stamp on it.

However Thursday brought disaster into our peaceful co-existence, Whilst searching for some Gangnam Style piece of music, they managed to spill a cup of chicken soup into my beautiful Apple wireless keyboard. The scenes of shock, horror, tears and tantrums that ensued were of biblical proportions (but I soon gathered my composure). Ann helped them clear up the mess and explained to them that Granddad didn’t mean to be nasty and that he was stood outside to calm down because thats what old people do. (Cheeky Sod). So once my blood pressure fell I surveyed the damage, which unfortunately for me has appeared to be terminal.

The prognosis from my brother who works in IT was take the batteries out and wash it in a bath of hot water and leave it in the airing cupboard for a week or two and it may work. I pointed out that I had work I needed to do today not next month at which point he stated the blindingly obvious, buy a new one.

Now that means that I have to go into the apple store. This is not easy for me because every time I go in for something I always come out with something better which costs twice the price. I have purposely not been anywhere near the store since the launch of the new iMac a couple of weeks ago because in my mind I know I don’t need it but in my heart I have to have one.

So I have done the next best thing, I went to PC World without my credit card and paid cash so I would not be tempted. So all is well that ends well. I can do my work again but more importantly our iMac babysitter is busy doing the do with the grandkids meaning that I can get on reading my emails on my phone with the aid of a big magnifying glass.

14/10/201226/03/2013

This was Definitely an Eleven Moment

Every now and again someone does something so breathtakingly spectacular that it will be remembered as long as people tell stories to each other. In my world these moments are known as elevens.

Let me explain, if you take a picture of a black wall that would illicit a score of one. Take a picture of a white wall with someone stood in front of it then that arguably would be a two and so on. To get to an eleven it has to be an earth changing moment, for example the assassination of J F Kennedy, First man on the Moon, even 911.

So what happened today that changed the world. A young Skydiver named Felix Baumgartner completed a challenge that took him and his team five years to complete which was so breathtaking in its vision and complexity that it led me to sit spell bound looking at a small youtube screen for the best part of three hours.

The last time my generation saw anything this extraordinary was back in the early seventies watching Niel Armstrong step onto the Moon for the first time, watching on a grainy black and white TV stuck in the corner of the lounge with all the neighbors watching intently, I can’t believe that was more than Forty years ago.

Most of us would I am sure surrounded by the people who we try to impress do things we would not normally do, just look at any small airfield on any given weekend to see various everyday people jumping out of planes for some worthy cause or another.

This guy although surrounded by the very best engineers and designers who created the balloon, the suit and the procedures that would ensure success trusted them enough to put his life on the line.

Watching the progress on my computer what I didn’t expect was the time it took to get to the altitude for the jump and the fact that this guy was sat on his own for two or more hours in a tiny capsule checking his equipment and rehearsing his exit. What type of bravery does it take to do that, far more than I have.

To take that gigantic leap of faith this guy must have the biggest balls on earth, as he stepped out and started his decent my heart skipped more that a beat or two.

Was it the awful silence when at 833 mph he was tumbling head over heals through the atmosphere, or was it the fact that it seemed a very long time before his parachute opened or was it just the fear of the unknown.

Live TV does that, it makes you wonder what the outcome will be, and you brain tries to compute the odds of success whilst its happening, this is what makes it gripping to watch, It was without doubt the longest five minutes of my life. Programmes like the X Factor talk about pressure and suspense, they don’t know the meaning of the word.

This mans photograph should be posted on every classroom wall in the country and we should tell our young people every day that anything is possible with hard work, teamwork and being brave enough to overcome fear so we can achieve great things.

Someone said to me once that if you wish to be famous make sure its for something you can be proud of, today this brave individual will go down in history as someone who did something unbelievable, something that will be remembered for years to come and for me it was a definitely eleven moment.

23/09/201226/03/2013

Peace Events Can be Stressful

I have had a quite stressful week with several projects all coming to completion and others at key stages in the process. By Wednesday I felt that my head was about to explode. But towards the end of the week things started to calm down that was until Friday.

Friday was International Peace Day and here in Oldham they celebrate by getting all Primary Schools together in The Queen Elizabeth Hall to help celebrate such a noble cause. Now my old Production Lecturer said (a long time ago now) working with children is always challenging and should you be in such a position always have a big plan B to fall back on. So armed with a pretty good plan B I was quietly confident.

I have been fortunate to have worked on a regular basis with New Image, a local events company who can work miracles on a regular basis and are just what you need when the going gets tough and this was going to be tough.

So here is the scenario. 600 children and teachers presenting Six 15 minute performances all with music and PowerPoint and although this was stressful enough trying to follow written instructions and getting them all in the correct order ready for performance.

The show started and all was well with the world, now this is where it could have gone wrong on a colossal scale; we had to get 195 flags in the correct order to the stage in time to be announced and placed in holders. To say my heart was thumping in my chest is an understatement.

The whole process worked seamlessly without a single issue. The children were fantastic and carried out the duty of flag bearers with great pride the audience cheering when the Union Jack was carried across the stage. The rest of the ceremony was fantastic, 600 children singing a song written by all of the schools in the audience.

This was education working at its best. Many of these children come from some of the poorest areas in the country and they behaved impeccably and performed with huge pride. Giving children the opportunity to take part in something of this magnitude you cannot put a price on. I saw dedicated teaching staff prompting them on their knees so the audience would not see. I saw huge smiles when the children heard the applause. This is an experience they will remember for the rest of their lives.

So Mr Grove when your Ofsted Inspectors come to visit and criticise these dedicated hard working professionals, working in crumbling schools in hugely deprived areas, remember that not everyone in this world has had the opportunities that you have obviously had. Many of these will find it almost impossible to get into the positions you find yourself in.

Also remember constructive criticism is far better
than box ticking in an audit trail, remember these children are being given opportunities at school to shine. They are also being shown that by working hard and as a team you can be a part of something special that you will remember for the rest of your life.

This is a great message to give any young person.

16/09/201226/03/2013

Rubbing Shoulders With Famous Folk

I have been rubbing shoulders with a few famous folk this week. Its been The Oldham Literary Festival and I have been interviewing guest authors for the festivals social media sites which should help promote next years event.

The first person to give me an interview was Paul Lake whose book “I’m Not Really Here” is a sensational read, a often harrowing account of a talented footballer who at the hight of his career was injured and unable to pursue his passion, playing football.

The person I interviewed rather than being a self assured sporting athlete was an articulate and incredibly modest man who has discovered the hard way that fame and fortune sometimes comes to an end just as unexpectedly as it arrives, and the road to were he is now is an inspirational story of how to pull yourself up from the depths of despair.

Together with his wife Joanne they have told the story beautifully and rather than being another football autobiography it is essentially a story of the aftermath of essentially being put out to grass at the age of twenty seven.

The other interview was with Tom Hingley the ex lead singer with the Inspiral Carpets. His book “Carpet Burns” is a great read. I was surprised to hear that he came from Oxford and only arrived in Manchester when he studied at MMU. But his time with the Inspirals has been documented in several books on the Madchester music scene, but his gives us an insight into what its like to be a part of a band, with all the highs and tensions that brings.

What these two people had in common is that they both have been in a position to be revered almost like gods in there respective fields and both have dealt with the resultant tensions since in ways that I was surprised by.

If you ask either of these people what do they treasure most in life, they both gave me the same answer. It wasn’t the money, the fame or the fantastic great times they had experienced but something far more simple. It was the families and close friends who had been with them through thick and thin.

Perhaps a lesson to be learned the next time you decide to work an extra couple of hours instead of spending time with the people who should matter the most to you.

10/09/201226/03/2013

I Hope We Remember Lessons Learned

After the past six weeks of breathtaking feats of athleticism, and superhuman performances in the Olympics and Para Olympics it is back to earth with a bang.

I have calculated that it took exactly seven hours before the news channels brought us down to earth with a bump with threats of mass industrial action and further financial gloom.

So what difference did the Olympics make to me? Not a great deal really apart from one glorious Saturday afternoon / evening watching Jessica Ennis and Mo Farah strut there stuff with three hundred other out of shape middle aged men with pints in there hands cheering with all there hearts. A wonderful moment to savor.

The Para Olympics on the other hand has had a profound effect. At the start of the event I felt uncomfortable watching these athletes with limbs missing and severe disabilities doing superhuman things. Things I wouldn’t even attempt with this crumbling body which isn’t in to bad a shape.

What it did, it put these people in the spotlight, gave them a stage and made it acceptable to look at someone with a less than perfect body and not feel uneasy.

I have started to look past the disabilities and look at the individuals, heroes one and all. Not because of the superhuman effort that these feats must have taken but the fact that they show me that the human spirit can overcome almost anything.

I only hope that just like the news it doesn’t take me seven hours to forget the lesson I have learned.