It was Half Term in our part of the world last week and every parent dreads this one, especially because the weather is often so bad that the little darlings are house bound for the biggest part of the week. By midweek they are suffering from cabin fever and are bored of anything that is suggested.
Now normally that has little effect on our house because our kids flew the coop several years ago leaving me to enjoy the break. I celebrate Half Terms because it gives me chance to recharge the batteries after being mauled for six weeks of teaching pubescent teenagers full of raging hormones who look for ways to mentally challenge you to the point of meltdown. Its not this behavior thats the issue its the mental anguish brought on by having to appear like a swan, calm in the face of adversity but paddling ferociously under the surface just so you don’t lose face.
You can imagine how delighted I was when it was suggested that the grandkids should stay with us whilst there house is being fitted with a new kitchen and bathroom. They arrived on Tuesday with a mass of phones, IPods and Hair Straighteners, apparently essentials that the average 10 year old see’s as survival gear.
Its not the fact that they hounded me for my broadband Key and tripled my data usage, or the fact that at any given moment in the day I was having to watch them dance around the lounge dancing to Nicki Minaj’s latest video (that looked like a promo for a leather fetishist club). It was the fact that they decided that my iMac was a far better proposition for watching Videos with subtitles so they could sing along, leaving me with my iPhone for company.To be honest they haven’t been that bad really, they are like any other kids trying to understand the world we live in and put there own stamp on it.
However Thursday brought disaster into our peaceful co-existence, Whilst searching for some Gangnam Style piece of music, they managed to spill a cup of chicken soup into my beautiful Apple wireless keyboard. The scenes of shock, horror, tears and tantrums that ensued were of biblical proportions (but I soon gathered my composure). Ann helped them clear up the mess and explained to them that Granddad didn’t mean to be nasty and that he was stood outside to calm down because thats what old people do. (Cheeky Sod). So once my blood pressure fell I surveyed the damage, which unfortunately for me has appeared to be terminal.
The prognosis from my brother who works in IT was take the batteries out and wash it in a bath of hot water and leave it in the airing cupboard for a week or two and it may work. I pointed out that I had work I needed to do today not next month at which point he stated the blindingly obvious, buy a new one.
Now that means that I have to go into the apple store. This is not easy for me because every time I go in for something I always come out with something better which costs twice the price. I have purposely not been anywhere near the store since the launch of the new iMac a couple of weeks ago because in my mind I know I don’t need it but in my heart I have to have one.
So I have done the next best thing, I went to PC World without my credit card and paid cash so I would not be tempted. So all is well that ends well. I can do my work again but more importantly our iMac babysitter is busy doing the do with the grandkids meaning that I can get on reading my emails on my phone with the aid of a big magnifying glass.
John d eccles 