I am Heartbroken

 

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Sheila and Ollie

Another year has arrived and for the first time ever in my existence I am heartbroken, only five days in and I am hoping that this isn’t the start of what is to come.

I have been brave over the past couple of months because a close friend of mine has been fighting a battle which is very hard to win.

You may remember that my close friend Sheila, who had been fighting Leukaemia for the past year unfortunately lost her battle the other day and all that I can say is that I am devastated.

My wife Ann has taken this particularly hard because they were so close and that is even harder to bear because there is nothing I can say or do that makes it any easier.

Sheila was one of those people who you meet in life who is unique, she was a one off, calm, never judged and never complained about anything.

She was brilliant and like many people on this planet who are often overlooked was unassuming, funny and above all kind.

All the qualities I love and respect and in this world we live in I find that this it is quite unique.

I am dreading the funeral because I know I will not be looking a what she achieved but what I have lost. I know that her family will be hurting far more than I but that does not make it any easier to bear.

Tonight I looked at a message on my phone and what I saw was probably the most uplifting heartbreaking image I will ever see.

I think that getting old is a challenge and bits stop working and we get a little set in our ways  but the bit I can’t quite get my head around is that you loose the people who are closest to you and you are left with a huge hole in your life and that is almost an unbearable emptiness that almost overwhelms you.

So all that remains to be said that is I hope that Sheila has eventually found peace after a hard struggle and I wish that her family find comfort in the fact she has gone to a better place.

I only hope that whatever god they follow offers them some comfort in the coming weeks and months that are to come and they can look back with warm affection with the time they spent with Sheila.

I know Ann and I after the initial shock and sadness eventually will.

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18 thoughts on “I am Heartbroken

  1. I am truly sorry for your loss and off course the loss suffered by your friend’s family. It’s terrible losing anyone like this but especially someone you have such strong bond with. It’s hard not to offer platitudes at a time like this but it’s very difficult to find the appropriate things to say. I think what you’ve said so far is the biggest tribute you can pay, remembering her so lovingly and saying that the impact of her personality on you will keep her in your heart forever. No-one could ask for more.
    Hugs

  2. I feel so sorry for your grief-broken heart, the measure of which is the depth of feelings for your friend.
    For you, it is a burden so hard to carry, but a burden that will ease as time passes and you will think of her gentleness and qualities not with the pain of loss, but with fondest love and gratitude for her presence in your life.
    Take care of yourself and your family. Your friend is at peace. I wish you peace too.

  3. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. 😥 She sounds and looks like such a beautiful and amazing woman :’) Stay strong in this harsh time, dear 😦

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